A Tender Morning's Wish..!!!

What would I not give to get a woman, as beautiful as the morning sunshine
Someone who is as tender as a lily in spring; someone whose smile would make me forget the worries of the world;
A girl who wud fill up my heart with exuberant joy;
Some girl who wud look like Aurora herself, when she opened the blinds in the morning,
Ah !! They say it’s usually ur fondest, smallest prayers that remain wishes; and
What a wish I have..
Lying in bed, spreading myself out , and burying my face in the warmth she left on the cotton sheet,
Winking up at her as she stood opening the blinds, wrinkling my eyes into a smile watching her familiar silhouette against the wet sunshine of the morning;
I can feel the cotton in my fingers, can feel her scent on the bed, the warmth, her baby warmth, oh how I crave it, it was beyond words for me to tell her …
And I lie there watching the ceiling...And this silent picture shall become some dust eaten portrait in some long forgotten passage of my memory..And there it shall lie forgotten...Until her slender, long fingers shall pull open the blinds

The God's Leisures

And god looked down on his creations,
The mighty blue seas sheathed above by the blue hue of the skies, he stood on his balcony and breathed a sigh of relief
He had something to watch, finally, something to play with, the garden he filled with life, his life,
He had made them out of his own hands, every inch of them were his sweat and effort
He felt proud, he watched them in wonder, he was amazed by them, little beings among his other beings,
Through them he would feel, would know what it is to be, to be silly, to be noisy, to be happy, and to be pre-occupied
They led such curious lives, lil ant like things, intelligent to a fault, ignorant about everything, dependant, and yet surprisingly efficient, arrogant about that as well;
He looked upon them lovingly, full of interest, he wanted to watch how they were going to grapple with things around them, he was so taken in by them he even gave them the power, the only power that he had, the power of choice!!!And he watched, as he watched, they scurried around his garden, and from one came the need for two, and from two, they spawned billions, crawling like ants over their adversaries, and over the vast spaces of time..
They built their own rules, to govern their securities, they built houses, and churches to go back to their childhoods, and they built gardens and made sports so that they could nurture safely, as they could hunt.
They tried everything, rejected everything, they had everything, yet they denied themselves everything, they were free, and they continued to bind themselves with bondages,
They were given imagination, they used it so beautifully, that God himself was amazed at their creativity, but imagination was given to them so that they could sense his presence in the little things that were available to them, and slowly across generations they forgot their early lessons
They were arrogant now, believing they ran the show, while the big man watched in wonder, they were now much more an aggressive species, who had everything taken for granted, that he gave them
Taking for granted meant they ran amok with their freedom and their power over other creatures, after all they were the favored ones, he watched, as they plundered and exploited everything to their benefit even their own fellow species,
And as they grew in this way, they began to infest like rodents across the space he had made for them, breaking down everything he made for them to make spaces for themselves, they were now in a race for space, to survive from themselves, and they failed to see that they were breaking down the very branch they were sitting on, triggering far greater dangers for themselves.
Boundaries they set from fear began to be encroached, by their very kind, and what was once decided amicably, now became bones of contention, and in anger they turned against themselves, eating into each other as they moved forward
They spewed fire and destruction on everything they saw that belonged to someone else or that could be a threat to them, the love they had turned to fear, and the fear that arose bore hate in them, and the hate that grew blinded them in a frenzied rage,
Smiles turned to snarls, and as they tore up everything in their paths, suffering cries arose from all parts of the lil blue garden he had made for them so lovingly,
God watched on alarmed at his creations, like Satan’s minion, they marched on, selfish, short-sighted, and filled, to their snarling teeth with hate – for all.
He watched on as he mulled deeply – his creation of love, now were defile, one eyed creatures of hate…their souls were wretched now…there was no more beauty in them anymore…
Watching them filled him with a strange alarm and fear.
They had to go, they had to burn and perish, not one should survive lest this vile race be carried forward, the earth must lose their trace, nothing should ever resemble their likeness, they were evil now, and evil would destroy, all.
God was sad, he loved them, he loved them because of their ignorance, they knew nothing, they were cute to him, least of all they were his sweat and blood.
But they must go…even if he did not wash them away, they would destroy themselves, but they would take everything from his garden so that nothing could ever survive after them…
They were to be stopped.
Maybe it was the intelligence which made them what they became, maybe it was their choices that brought them here, and maybe they forgot to use their intelligence to exercise their greatest power, one which put them at par with him, their power of choice…
He mulled sadly as he took one final stare at the burning, pillaging and looting billions, he put his finger on the button, and let out one heavy sigh, he couldn’t believe they would be no more with their silly fights, and laughter… in a moment that would all be gone..
He closed his eyes as he pressed the button down...A tear dribbled down his cheek as everything blanked out and went silent..!

in one of those moods today..tonite ??
cold, scared, shivering a lil from fever n nasal and throat pain, feelin down
lack of respect, a constant feeling of fear, and a reputaion for untrustworthiness,
i ve picked gems from personality traits and made them mine....
was good the journey i had till now....how long more
i donno...must be like the sea with tempestous storms, sea-serpents, cold winds, scary waves and irritating crew, d be life,
between phases of getting fucked up and euphoric..i lead a very insignificant life...
i mean i donno wer i fit into anyone s plan...
i don t have a plan to fit myself into..saves me the confusion..but im relally confused as to wer i fit into in god s plan, no clue is fun, faith i guess wud be my only companion
and as i weather storms n sea, n serpents, from far away come faces i cherish, lovely faces, warm faces, faces full of laughter, love,
they r not my parents, they r my pals, or long gone faces, faces that kept me warm inside, some strength, some hope, green word hope,
between bouts of drunk stupor, and calm deliriums of loneliness..hope s a word
s nice if u have a house to come to in the nights, a woman,
witha smile full of warmth u can drown in..jus drown in..and watch her and watch her n go to sleep knowing she ll be there wen u wake up....
sometimes every step i take to go home is a hurry...jus so u can go n watch her...
don need anything else in life..jus a lil home..
but the rain drops hit my eyes, sting me with their icyness, the images mingle withem n fade away, and somewer in the rocking ocean of life, my small lil boat with its worries are being tossed around, where to nobody knows, for what i donno..
it's cold, dark, and the swallowing sea is opening up its dragon belly,
and yet curiosuly, there's nothing but a loneliness that grips me on the deck, a loneliness that won't fade away even after i'm gone...

i was jus sittin here now n thinking...i ve grown up into a meek, hehehe, mature, regular, routine obeying civilised man so much; at least i luk that way;

hehehehe, fuckin unbeliveable

for chris sakes im the naked guy who's trespassing on my neighbour's yard, with a paunch and coolers on me, holding up a burning cigarette delicately between fingers, and not giving a fuck, and whistling;

im the lonely guy who sits alone n cries out of sheer cold on rainy wet night;

im the guy who is full of love for every s.o.b after a couple of drinks;

im also the guy reflective, imagining a way out of this predicament called life;

and im the guy who stops existing suddenly as soon as he begins to unfold something beautiful to love in his hands;

and im the bored guy who jus cant type this whole shit out;

cos he thinks he shud find a guy's past time not a fag's

hehehe

im also a lil kid runnin around, playful, scared of mommy, zesting up to try every trick in the book of the forbidden; glint n all;

and yet im curiously some part of mine is mature enuf to understand people's problems handle them, or destroy them playfully, depending on my mood; :)

im also the scared guy who is afraid of the consequences;

this is boring...!!!

but fuck ya this is me

me zone. me time, my lil bit of life;

whatever

all i want to say is im whoring my self

fucking distracted to a weariness

im free; that's who i am, ???

and no soonr i think it, im whipped by the chains of order; of civilisation, whatever..!!!..

i can t stand like a pimp to be dressed up, manicured, curtain haired, pink nosed, and glossy lipped , b cos people of my time r metro-sexuals, fuck them i say, the world can burn to a fucking crisp

i cant stand like a pimp clad in designer shirts, and flat fronts, and bow down to do routine clerical work;

i can't go and say the politically right thing to a hot woman; i cud nt care;

and im already bored of people with pretences

i cud grab, i cud afford gluttony, i cud afford being dirty, i cud afford being in shambles,

i cud afford laughing, tearing apart with rage, or pissing where or when i felt like, b cos they don't deviate from my true nature; they are like me;

today im an imitation of a clean scrubbed man, hahaha, fucking respectable in the society, and with my face, perenially as if someone's goin to harm me; im all fucked up

am doing the best i could to confess my true nature, i always loved it, it brought me a whole lot more happiness, than pimping my soul, grrr

ilovet

shit politics, info abt the latesht macro n micro environmental developments, dont concern me,

what concerns me is; who's fucking who; will i get her; is she good in bed; or will her mouth do a good job on my tommy gun;

donno. but who cares...hehehe...it s wrong and refreshingly true...it's me..

hate being a boy scout; always hated it;

now i need to find a place where im going to live like me; or start pimping my soul again;....

slow shall the river meander through the length of thine body

as slow as my lips shall make love to thine soul;

slow shall the passion molten draw out;

as slow as the clouds that pass the moon this night

slow shall the breeze blow in through these windows;

n ever so slowly shall this dance, of ours continue;

And then We shall collapse;

from sweat, from joy,

n tingling delirium, merged within our souls

lost in consciousness;

within the womb of completeness;

peace, white, still, calm, peace;

i seek;

have lived in malta..i think..not of this life..i speak..of some other life..i had as a bird..an eagle maybe...watching the sun smile at me with his majestic yellow reddish dignity...before he bid the waves goodbye for the evening, and i smiled back sitting on the cragged rock..the azure waves below, lush and blue, innocent and fresh, bid me to come, plunge within them to cool my tears..scared i was of being swallowed into a world, so not mine!!!

the sky was my world, the flight was my fantasy, i soared into the starsin the night wen all the birds slept cosy in their wings, i touched the velvet far beyond this world of the nite, in my life, in my dreams, i flew and i owned my pleasure...my pain too mixed in the heady feeling..

flying was everything, soaring , i owned everything, my life, my mistakes, my foolishness, my pain, and the sheer pleasure, the happiness of breaking free

the sky was a world that was almighty, forgiving, with the warmth of the sun, the cool tenderness of the moon, the whisperings of the stars as they twinkled, the waves that rumbled in agreement beneath, the rocks that stood mute but lively witness to the discussions, while little ants like us slept, comfortably inside our houses,

unaware of the dome of life and its temples, and dieties that came alive in the prayer of silence

everything was alive, alive, working like a family, doing their work, out of love, and under the commands of a mighty heart, that was our own, and nobody wished o go further to find out

our existence on fear and pheromones, continued their pitiable tread..

while the family prayed every night,...

the hearth of the hearts..!!'..

and i stood behind her, playing with my fingers, over the tender skin of her back..

her hair was wavy, and had a scent of fresh flowers, i brought my lips forward, hovering gently over her chocolate brown shoulder,

i cud see goosebumps rise through her skin, i tilted my head up to see her face in the mirror, she was looking at me, a distant, far away expression, and a yearning in her eyes that arose deep from within from her soul, i saw my eyes, they were swollen, empty, bloodshot, it was like a stranger's face..

this moment... when the warm,golden, mellow fire of the hearth glowed upon us, we watched ourselves, hollow, casting away our-selfs, looking to sate our primal hunger!!!

was all important...it was silence, it was complete.. .

her back curved up in the most delicate way to rise into her supple full, behind..!!!

her hips alluring..with their perfect curves..,,,

my eyes were swallowing what they could see.....

my lips parched, my fingers trembling, i watched as my whole soul was in motion with her partly open lips...!!!

the fire burned on...i watched...seldom had i seen a body, as such, so beautiful,

it's rises and it's falls, a mystery of nature;

it's curves and peaches, and apples, drawing the soul out through my eyes,

i caught hold of her hip, turned her towards me; as she turned her hair brushed by my face;

a little jerk and alarm broke through her, and her eyes wide open, empty, and craving from anticipation.

i wanted to play!!! i put my face next to hers, our foreheads and our noses gently rubbing against each other;

our breaths, mingled;

her palms were on my shoulders now, feeling my soul; my tightness

our bodies were swaying together , but there was no music, there was only the rhythm of our breaths

our smiles were complete, it was like a soul coming together in its resting place; our hearts were complete; there was our li'l home!!!..

our moment bore fruit; it made us complete..!!!...

evrything else exists along as i exist...when i do not remain..evrything else vanishes...i m as an illusion...i pass with my colors, curious pains, the winds, the breezes that bristled my hairs someday..wanting to make me fly..the sun that shone and winked into my soul thru the trees that swayed by the roads i took..wandered like a soul lost n a temple of the settting sun...lost ..awed... amazed...stunned..suns passed by my skies many rose and set many a time..the winter wrinkled water carpets..that waltzed to the breezes and glowed in the sun..and brimmed like a woman's heart beneath..kissed me soemwher when nobody was there..i can feel her tender touch somewer chilly, moist, in a place that s remotely unmine, where i donno anybody,the only strangers i can relate to is the morning sunshine, the warm, glow of love that caresses my heart n my skin, the moon blue, whispers tales of love , and fiercesome passion of long lost days, the walls filmed with dust damp, tender , decay like things i once owned, i cry, my tears are fresh.

? - exists here now, lonely like a vampire caught in a wrong time of a world i know nothing of,,

of people i can't relate to, of trends that are like straws binding my soul, old, unaged, damp, ever-alone existing..alone..alone..

blood drips from my forehead of stones that chipped my flesh when somebody threw it at me, a misunderstanding, can't blame them, the world when it does nt understand, only misunderstands..i am alone...misunderstood, hating the very life that bounds threw me stuck, routined, chained like an animal, whipped, hurt, mortified within the walls of time..craving for a way out i want to fly away....just to cry alone in peace, with the sun, among the clouds far way and then disappear into something as beautiful as the breeze, the wind, the gold in the sunshine, the warmth, of the first rays plunging into the soil, like a warmth...i want to diasppear..to love eternally a silence that wud love me back..and i cud merge with..and i cud seperate from, when i wished wer i wished..i want to be full, forgotten, letalone into the woods, the jungle, cos my passions are primal, im as the elements coming from them, i am a the soil, as the breeze, the wind, the bark of the trees, im many more im like space...i seek not to be understood, i sought love in a woman's breasts..cos they r silent, they understand, the love me her heart loves me..and thts wat i know...i ll always no...

A Feast for the Dark, Moon Night..!!!

i stand over her..towering..one palm of mine and its solid grip is all it takes to pin her wrists to the cold, glass pane..

she writhes against my grip..her eyes like a school - girl's are trepid, expecting, anticipating, and scared - cluless...

smile- my smile twitches against my lips and stretches my chin..

she's naked like a baby..!!!

vulnerable, defenceless, helplessly spread up against the pane..

the rage is slowly building up inside me...

her toes are curling, but she cannot move, my 'thing' pierces against her soft stomach,

i slowly brush my bristled chin against her soft cheek, she shivers... i break into a smile again...

my grip tightens against her wrists ..her eyes are helpless... tortured now... begging me to let her go , but i won't

cos im having fun..hehehe

i gently draw my nails around her navel...and i can feel her breath catch and rise-up

my jaws r tightening and im smiling at her baby eyes, her big, beautiful. luscious, breasts are rising up all the way to my neck..i lean down on her...

oh my god that nipple of hers is brown, taut and almost angry that my mouth is not upon it;

the left one;

i blow cold air on that nipple, and and i can see that breast swell up like a beast thru her moan,

i suck on that soft, full nipple, hard..gently and then swallow that breast into my mouth making noises...im lost in that smell of her, in chocolate brown skin of her..and she is pushing against my body struggling to be free..i release my mouth from her ravaged breast now...and i raise my head to her face...as i release her arms from over her head...my dick is in full attention now.. and i can see her hunger in her eyes..ther's thread of spit from her areole to my lip..and i smile through my raspy breath...a feast for the dark moon night'!!!!