i have lost..weariness..pounds against my limbs..the nights bring no comfort, the morning brings no relief...living has become a pain..a living horror..watchin depletion eat me up day by day.... i cant force it down the requisite inches the blade to my vein..i cant tighten that extra ounce the rope around my neck....my fingers r numb...almost flailing..the pleasures and pains of a lifetime ve hounded me relentlessly.. i am tired today on the canvas, reeling, not knowing where iam ...i get up again he will pound me down...death is knockin patiently waitin outside these doors what am i protectin... but i will stand up again if can..i dono why i do this..i don have anythin no energy, no relief, no savings or reserve,i stand up to tire myself out, maybe at the end of this there will be a relief of blackness...a complete sweep outs of the senses, i maybe lifted out of the ground, ahhh death will be a comfort like no other maybe, maybe a long sleep, maybe i ll run away from these horrors...o god im crumbling, but hehehe wat the helll, i ll try...hunger shame loss the feeling of ignominy and ridicule..and the shame and the sadness of it all.the futility...i am slipping off the ground.. i am slipping of the face of planet earth..this city is eating me up..and my head t relief

no moon's a mistakew,, what was was the moon, and what was the the calm creeping of the clouds upon it........
the moon was not absent, the moon was not absent, the stars sang in unison behind their gleaming song of silence...the leaves waltzed in rhythm...the sky was alive today, the evening was a gown she wore, and she shone in brilliance,
a heart is the only entity among us that is the tool of nature,
every note and a gasp of hers reflects on us, our trembles ripple thru her in waves of exuberance, evryrthing s a mode of realisation, so are the waves of blades of grass in chorus..the wind was a tremulous blanket of chill :))

scnd day after new years..heartbroken as ever
my girl's with somebody else.
and i cant deal with it..cos i cant live without her..
my hearts a hole....god pleasehelp me...god help me