i have lost..weariness..pounds against my limbs..the nights bring no comfort, the morning brings no relief...living has become a pain..a living horror..watchin depletion eat me up day by day.... i cant force it down the requisite inches the blade to my vein..i cant tighten that extra ounce the rope around my neck....my fingers r numb...almost flailing..the pleasures and pains of a lifetime ve hounded me relentlessly.. i am tired today on the canvas, reeling, not knowing where iam ...i get up again he will pound me down...death is knockin patiently waitin outside these doors what am i protectin... but i will stand up again if can..i dono why i do this..i don have anythin no energy, no relief, no savings or reserve,i stand up to tire myself out, maybe at the end of this there will be a relief of blackness...a complete sweep outs of the senses, i maybe lifted out of the ground, ahhh death will be a comfort like no other maybe, maybe a long sleep, maybe i ll run away from these horrors...o god im crumbling, but hehehe wat the helll, i ll try...hunger shame loss the feeling of ignominy and ridicule..and the shame and the sadness of it all.the futility...i am slipping off the ground.. i am slipping of the face of planet earth..this city is eating me up..and my head t relief